In the Waiting

I had a conversation recently with another family similar to ours in that they also have three children, applied to foster in hopes to adopt. But their application has been stalled for a while and it is discouraging. I know we felt them same, not with becoming license initially, but in not receiving a call for over 6 months. Here are some of the things we felt God lead us to do in the mean time, which I now see have really helped having a child (finally) enter our home.

Read: I have listed a lot of the books earlier on this blog that people recommended to us, that offered all different perspectives and aspects of adoption and fostering. These books prompted a lot of good discussions between Matt and myself, helped us get on the same page about and remember why we were making the decisions that we were, and helped us know what questions to ask.

Attend Events: Any time I saw a foster/adoption class, information meeting, parenting seminar, panel discussion, either Matt or myself tried to attend. Not only because we need the continuing education, but again it helped us be prepared with alternative discipline ideas, behaviors to be ready for, and be open to different kinds of option/fostering.

Practice with other people's children: I thought that any day we could receive a call and have another child in our home, so any time I heard about someone needing help with their child/children, I offered. I thought about how the older two and I could still get school work accomplished, how our schedule would change if we had a child napping, how everyone would help get things ready/clean up after themselves, etc. So it really wasn't a big shock to our family schedule to have another person with us- he is much more active than any of the children I volunteered to watch :) but in general 4 is not a big change from 3, especially when those 3 help as much as they often do.

Start Building a Community: Any time I would hear about another person adopting/fostering, I would ask about their experiences, offer to bring them a meal, have them over for coffee, read their blog or ask to be on their regular communications. Again, getting many different perspectives helped us to be ready for anything and I know we will be even more thankful for these people in the near future!

Fast and Pray: Other than doing necessary paperwork, I found that I was not thinking about the whole process, children, or families at all unless someone asked. So having a weekly time to fast and pray, focus on either some aspect at hand, ask God for wisdom He knows I will need, etc. has been so helpful in really feeling God's presence in the whole process.