Trusting

I almost titled this post "disappointment", but despite the disappointing things this week, our reliance on and trust in God's leading is prevailing. J's birthday was this past week, and we brought his sisters with us to Legoland discovery center, then met up with their former foster family. The kids were all having a wonderful time, we were happy connecting not only with another Christian foster family, but with the family who loved these kids specifically for over 2 years. The next day, however, I got a call from the girl's foster mom, who said J's older sister was emotional and asking about why they gave them up. So while we felt it was beneficial for J to see them, we realize it wasn't our call to let the girls join us for that, and we have been told we're not allowed to see the previous family again. I understand the potential emotional risks, but I'm disappointed for the kid's current emotions, missing these siblings, wondering if they are thought of, etc. I put myself in their situation and even though it may be hard to go back to life without them I would still like to see them! So the trusting part comes in that if we continue to have J with us, and we maintain a relationship with this other foster family, maybe God can still keep us connected.

Second, the day after this party, J's actual birthday, I was trying to make it special for him while also being emotionally and physically dividing my time going to court fr our first foster son, D. The judge ended up moving through 2 of the 3 steps of termination of her parental rights, with the third to happen in just a few weeks. D's mom, sister, and grandma remembered me and were very warm, friendly, and pleading for me to take D back, saying they really didn't like where he was now, and that she would be so happy to know that we could give him a permanent home. I trust since we have only had a handful of interactions that it really must be God softening her heart to us. So her lawyer asked the judge specifically in her plea to have D moved to us and would surrender her rights. So I was expecting again to come home, buy a mattress for his old bed since J is using the other one in the bunk bed now- but the foster worker said her supervisor does not see the need to move him until something is finalized. Again the disappointment gave way to trust as I saw over the rest of the week how busy my schedule would be with family visits for two children, all of our other activities, etc. So maybe God knows that we need to wait to have him back?

Lastly, it has been almost a full month since the judge changed the goal for J to be reunited with his sisters and mom at home, and she has not showed up for any of the parenting time since. I thought surely she would come this week, being 2 days after his birthday. J would say things like, "I get to celebrate with J(mom), I wonder what she got me"....and I would redirect with saying something like, "it'll just be good to spend time together, right?"....and that didn't even happen. I was so heartbroken when I went to pick him up and the visit supervisor said she didn't show again. The trusting in this case comes in, in that the agency will now file again for termination, on grounds of her not showing up for visits or the family therapy sessions. So maybe it is really one step closer to his permanent home- whether with us, or with his sisters somewhere else.

A Big Court Date

Hi friends and family, I just wanted to give an update on J and his family after a court date on Friday. It was strange to have J placed with us, and immediately have a court date to terminate her parental rights (this is the 3rd time though it has been requested by DHS and the agency though) So his goal was adoption and everything seemed to be moving that way because of his mom not meeting certain requirements for the last 4 years. So three more court hearings later, the judge seemed to make a 'final' decision (though there is a review in another 2 months). Trying to make a long story short, Joshua's youngest sister who is 3 years old and has lived in her current foster home since she was 3 days old, was formally removed from her mom's custody and will be adopted by the foster mom (who is a wonderful woman by the way, has fostered 55 children, adopted 2, etc.) 

J and his two sisters were ordered back home with their mom. No one knows what the time frame will be, but we will continue weekly visits with his mom and two sisters, then an additional monthly visit with all 3 of the sisters, then will gradually move to overnight visits and such. I'm sort of hoping he won't have to move before school is finished, so he doesn't have to attend 4 different schools in one school year. There were many mixed emotions in the court room Friday, with J's mom being very upset and emotional about losing her youngest daughter, everyone else being unhappy that after all these years, they will be moving back with a woman they see as inadequate to care for herself, let alone 3 young children...however, thanks to our experiences with Poverty Resolutions in Haiti, we agree with the court's point that poverty cannot be held against a parent. We don't want to get to the point in our country where people have to give up their children because of not having resources  like education, housing, food, etc. despite the reasons why. Thankfully she was able to testify that she has never harmed her children, and though she cannot give them all that our own children have, or that J would have with us, but we're praying that he will have has a safe environment to grow up in, and what he needs to grow into a wonderful man who loves God and loves others. Tonight I read/recapped the story of Daniel to all of the kids and discussed how the faith of a probably 15 year old boy caused so many others to believe in God. So we're trusting and praying that God can impart faith in Him even at such young ages, that his time with the previous foster family and ours were hopefully enough of a foundation of faith to carry him on to the next people God will bring into his life. 

So if you could just be praying for us to help J have a good transition, as we believe D did- encouraging Josh, his mom and his sisters as they get into a new routine and lifestyle, and handle the inevitable cancellations as there have been in the past, trust in God as humans make good and bad decisions that affect others. And speaking of D, many of you knew that he and his siblings were removed again and we were asked if we would take him back. We said yes about a month ago, but then haven't heard anything since (he was taken and placed by another agency, so it's sometimes hard to get information). So we understand that even when parents get second (or third, or seventh) chances, children's lives are affected, but we will continue to do whatever we feel God wants us to do int he situation without judgement. 

Thank you for your continued support of us and especially in the ways you have cared for D and J!

With love,

Courtney