"Adopted For Life"

Book notes from "Adopted for Life" by Russel D. Moore

Introductions: "We often forget that the Christian walk is not merely about getting us into heaven, but it is also about getting heaven into us."

"In this writing of the call of God to meet the ever pressing needs of these little ones. Read with the intent to obey"

pg. 17 Human families are reflective of an eternal fatherhood. We know, then what human fatherhood ought to look like on the basis of how our Father God behaves toward us. But the reverse is also true. We see something of the way our God is fatherly toward us through our relationships with human fathers. And so Jesus tells us that in our human father's provision and discpline we get a glimpse fo God's active love for us. The same truth is at work in adoption.

pg. 18As soon as you peer into the truth of one aspect, you fall headlong into the truth of another, and vice versa. That's because it's the way the gosepl is. Jesus reconciles us to God and to each other. As we love our God, we love our neighor; as we love our neighbor, we love our God. We believe Jesus in heavenly things- our adoption in Christ; so we follor him in earthly things- the adoption of children. Without the theological aspect the emphasis on adoption too easily is seen as mere charity. Without the missional aspect, the doctrine of adoption too easily is seen as mere metaphor.

pg. 19 Adoption is not just about couples who want children- or want more children. Adoption is about an entire culture within our churches, a culture that sees adoption as part of our Great Commission mandate and as a sign of the gospel itself.

pg. 20 I want to ask what it would mean if our churches and families were known as the people who adopt babies- and toddlers, and children, and teenagers. What if we as Christinas were known, once again, as the people who take in orphans and make of them beloved sons and daughters? Not everyone is called to adopt. No one wants parents who adopt children out of the same sense of duty with which they may give to the building fund for the new church gymnasuym. But all of us have a stake in the adoption issue, because Jesus does. he is the one who tells us his Father is also Father of the fatherless. He is the one who insists on calling the least of these his brothers and who tells us that the first time we hear his coice, he will be asking us if we did the same.

pg. 31 The "are they brothers" question irritated me so much, the more I thought about it, because it was about more than my adoption process. It was about my pride and self-delusion. It reminded me of my own tendency to prize my carnality, a tendency the Scripture warns leads right to the grave. None of us likes to think we were adopted. We assume we're natural-born children, with a right to all of this grace, to all of this glory.

pg. 39 Adoption would become a priority in our churches if our churches themseleves saw our brotherhood and sisterhood in the church itseld rather than in our fleshly identities. In fact, maybe the reason we wonder whether "adopted" children can "really" be brothers and sisters is because we so rarely see it displayed in our pews"

pg. 48 When Paul says that we are all 'sons' of God, it is not excluding women, but rather saying that, like in those days, we all are entitled to the inherit the promises- the land, rule, kingdom. If we are in Christ, we are no longer male or female, slave or free, Jew or Gentile; our inheritance is whatever belonges to Him. But our inheritance, like our identity, is hard to believe. We must lean to be children, not orphans. Jesus' identity as the Christ, after all, is tied to his identity as the descendant of Davd, the legitimate heir to David's throne. Jesus saved us as David's son, the offspring of Abraham, the Christ. That human identity came to Jesus through adoption. (Joseph adopting Jesus as his own son despite lasck of genetic ties.)

pg. 73 When we adopt- and when we encourage adoption in our churches and communities- we're picturing something that's true about our God,. We, like Jesus, see what our Father is doing and do likewise. And what our Father is doing, it turns out, is fighting for orphans, making them sons and daughters.

pg. 78 We must insist on the church as a household, not as a collection of family units. Seeking first the kingdom of God, as Jesus tells us to do, means recognizing what kind of kingdom we're seeking. When we pray, your kingdom come, we're askng that your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. When the psalmist cred out for that kingdom to come, he pleads, Give justcuce t the weak and the fatherless, maintain the right of the afflicted and the destitute. The kingdom of Christ is characterized in Scrpiture as a kingdom of rescued children. Solomon looks to the final reign of God's announted and ings, For he delivers the needy when he calls, the poor and him who has no helper. He has pity on the weak and the needy, and saves the lives of the needy. From the oppression and violence he redeems their life, and precious is their blood in his sight. When we protect and welcome children, we're announcing something about Jesus and his kingdom.

pg. 79 An adoption culture  in our churches advances the cause of life, even beyond the individual lives of the children adopted. Imagine if Christian churches were known as the places where unwanted babies become beloved children. If this were the case across the board around the world, sure, there would still be abortions, there would still be abusive homes. But wouldn't we see more women willing to give their children life it they'd seen with their own eyes what an adoption culuture looks like? And wouldn't these mothers and fathers, who may themseleves feel unwanted, be a bit more ready to hear our talk about a kingdom where all are welcomed?

pg. 80 Perhaps the most practical way your congregation can show Darwinism to be wrong is to showcase families for whom live is more than gene protection.

pg. 106 We are designed to love our own flesh and blood, but your design is redeemed in Christ to see as your flesh and blood those whom you previously didn't recognize as such.

pg. 128 Many adoptions are so open as to rob children of the safety and security of a fmaily. Adoption isn't shared custody. Adoption creates a new family. A family has a definition, embedded in the biblical revelation and in the natural order. Think through with wisdom and discernment whether the adoption is so open that it is an obstacle to your child's full envelopment into your family and its story.

pg. 142 Learn now to pray with dependence. Pray together as you wait for the protection fo your child. Pray for his fuure salvation. Pray for your own wisdom to lead your child toward godliness.

pg.  156 Don't love the abstract notion of 'humanity' more than you love real, live human beings.

pg. 165 It's true that adoption isn't 'natural'. We have adoptions because we live in a world groaning under the curse of sin and death. Fathers abandon mothers. Mothers get pregnant without marriage. Parents are killed. Diseases ravage villages. It was not so from the beginning. The hard questions about adoption- and the easy ones too- are only with us because something's gone wrong with the world. Adoption is modeled after the natural family. But the biological family is also modeled after something- the kingdom of God in Christ. King Jesus tells us his riegn is hidden from the wise and understanding but is revealed to little children (Matt. 11:25) The childlike kingdom we've come into is filled with transracial adoptees like you and me. It's made up of special needs orphans like us. Sometimes adoptions turn out with families that look remarkably similar- almost 'natural' you might say. But let's not fall for the carnality that values boys over girls, that pits ethnicities against one another, or that is repulsed by physical or emotional weakness. Let's be the people of Christ, and, like him, let's teach ourselves to welcome children into our homes, even those our culture tells us we're not supposed to want.

Things our churches do to foster a spirit of adoption:
Preach specifically on adoption
Encourage children- by birth or adoption- in wedding sermons
Publicly celebrate adoptions in the church when they happen
Hold small groups for people interested in, in process of, or have already adopted. Also offer small groups
      for women who have given up their children for adoption, pregnant women in crisis
Form a 'support' group to e-mail and ask for assistance/prayer/celebration when needed by families in
      the process
Hold times of prayer specifically for women struggling with infertility
Create an adoption directory with information about and reviews of local agencies, informaton about families
      in the church who have adopted to conact about their story
Add pins on a missions map of places where people have adopted children from as a symbol of the Great
      Commission.
Partner with adoption agencies to host events, seminars, counseling, etc. for families from the church and
      those not involved in church.

pg.176 The church does not exist just to equip the family to be a family (but to serve the Lord and the world)

pg.188 It takes more than a village to raise a child, it takes a church

pg. 191 Adopted is a past tense verb. It's part of their story, but doesn't define who they are.

pg. 192 Don't be defensive when people ask questions, as though people are uncovering family secrets.

pg. 193 Stay away from "chosen child" language. You're not going to warp your child's psyche if you do, but there is already a tendency toward narcissism all around and within us. We all tend to believe already that we're special. As we grow up, televised images of soft-speaking men in sweaters and dancing dinosaurs sing to us that there's never been anyone just like us; they love us just the way we are. The words then ring a little hollow. Even a four year old recognizes eventually that the singing character on televsion telling him he's sepcial is saying the same thing to everyone. Why, if I were so special, so perfect, did someone give me up? A child can wonder what it was about him that made him so special, what cause you to choose him, and how he can maintan it. Was it how cute he was? How sweet-natured? What, then, happens when he's awkward and pimply and not very cute in his early teenage years? What happes when he's moody and ill-tempered? Your child may have a sense of survivor's guilt thinking about the other chilren that were rejected cause they weren't as cute and cuddly? Could you reject him one day too? The kind of belonging you want your child to be able to recognize, though, in the fullness of time, is not a self-focused, merit-based sense of belongng but a gracious one intead. In the Bible, God tells the Israelites He did not chose them because they were great in number or wise, or powerful. It was all due to "His good pleasure".  EWven if you do choose your child from a lineup of children, emphasize God's providence in putting your family together. God chose to bring you into our family through adoption, and another through birth. Isn't it great how God puts families together? We are so happy He knew that you were to be our child!

pg. 196 Remember that God designed families so children can grow up to be like their parents. This isn't mere biology. Disciples grow up to be their teachers, and there's no blood tie there.

pg.197 Find ways to communicate to all of your children that they are 'one of us'- you look forward to Christmas just like grandma, and you have a short temper like Uncle Bob.

pg. 201 In regards to the "who am I" and "what if" questions, meditate on the providence of God in your personal story. You belong because you are exactly where God intended you to be, in order to become the person you are. Nothing happens to you by accident. All things are part of a secret drama in which everything works together according to the counsel of his will.

pg. 204 Do not withold discipline, it lets children know they belong and are truly a child. They also need to contribute to the household economy (chores), helping them see themselves as part of a larger, secure family.

pg. 211 Don' try and 'rescue' the reputation of a child's birth parents or hypothesize the reasons for their relinquishng their parental rights. Don't pass judgement on the birth parents, either, They deserve honor for giving your child life.

pg. 212 Listen to your child's fantasies, they may be telling you what they think they are missing.

pg. 214 In most ways, parenting is parenting, growing up is growing up- it's always hard. Some unique challenges go along with adoption related to finding belongng, discipline and discipleship, and answering questions about origins. Count it all joy. They point all of us to the gospel. It welcomes us and receives us and loves us as children. The gospel disciplines us and prepares us for eternity as heirs. The gospel speaks truth to us and shows us our misery in Adam and our glory in Christ. The gospel shows us that we were born into death and then shows us, by free grace, that we're adopted for life.

pg. 217 Maybe you are a follow of Jesus already. I pray that you will grow in wonder that you were a cosmic orphan, and now you're a beloved son of the Father, and heir of everything you can see and of things so glorious they'd burn your corneas to powder if you looked at them now.  I pray also that you will picture that gospel and that you'll join in the mission of representing Christ to the fatherless among us.

Loving Children Because We Love Our Children

A common concern people express about us adopting is the impact it will have on the two children we have already. We have thought a lot about this, certainly, and have already begun teaching our children (and reminding ourselves) in a loving way that nothing we have is really ours, that God directs our futures and who He wants us to serve and love,.....I could go on. But one new aspect that we want to make our children aware of is not that we feel incomplete as a family with just the two of them or are diregarding them, but rather because of them and our increasing love for them, God has put an even stronger desire in us to love and protect other children. It would be the easier thing to do to sit back and delight in what amazing children we were able to have an raise, be safe and content. But as we see our children grow- in health, love, Spirit, wisdom, maturity....we are heart broken for all the children who have not had the same love and nurture to grow in these ways. We know that God sees them and cares, and we have to do something! So we pray for the Spirit to continue to make it clear to our children that they have had, and will continue to have a special part in how God has been revealing the glory of adoption to us and hope that they will be excited to 'do the will of God and finish His work' with us. (John 4:34)

Updates to Adoption Letter to Family and Friends

Since writing the letter to our family and friends, there are a few changes in our plans (see, changes already!).

We are currently filling out paperwork to start a profile with the private organization "Hope For Kids" here in State College. We will probably not complete our criminal histories, fingerprinting, or home study until Matt has received a job offer (God willing), and we know where we will be living for the forseeable future. Requirements change depending on the state you are adopting from, and clearances have expiration dates, so we would want to be ready for our new family members when these are completed, and we don't feel like we are just yet.

We stated in our letter that we thought it would be fun to have children around the same ages as Ellie and Liam join our family, but we are feeling more now like waiting until they are a little older (like 6 and 5) and adopting younger children (like 4 and 3) may provide a healthier family structure- of course this is just an aim, still open to God directing us otherwise.

Just an update....