Our New Placement, J

On Thursday night, November 2nd, I listened to a voicemail from a number I didn't recognize. It was a call for us to take a new foster placement. We had recently finished our adoption home study and profile, so I honestly had not even been thinking about foster calls. I called right back for a little more information. We knew his age and that there were some slight medical needs, and I thought I understood that there was a family who wanted to adopt him and his two sisters, so he would just be with us until that could be finalized. That last detail would have deterred us originally since we wanted to adopt, but this time, it made it slightly easier to say yes, especially if the medical needs ended up being more involved than presented. Matt and I spent the night talking and praying, and without too much debate, we said yes the following morning. I got a call mid-morning Friday afternoon asking if someone could drop him off that night. She and J called me on the way so he could ask if we had video games at our house, and was very excited to learn that we had a Wii. The first weekend was full of our normal activities, resulting in staying up later, making a lot of noise...it was definitely borderline chaotic, but mostly fun. J was wild and most from one thing to another when we were at home, wanting to see and do everything, but out of the house for sporting games, he was relaxed and quietly took it all in. We tried to get in the habit of giving J medication each morning, then again before he ate, tried to be clear about our routines and expectations, ask him a lot of questions and make space for his input. The first week was full of appointments- doctor's, registering for school, meeting with mom and siblings, and a couple from our church offered to watch our other three kids while I went to his mom's court hearing. School was out two days out of the week for voting and teacher's conferences, they hadn't received J's IEP yet, so both us and his new teacher just did the best we could for the days that he was there. I also had a ticket to fly to Florida that weekend for Grandi's memorial service, Matt was registered for a church retreat, and the friends who were planning on keeping our children agreed to watch one more...what a blessing!  So even though I arrived around 1am on Monday morning, I was excited to start this week with nothing too crazy out of the ordinary. It will be nice for all of us, especially J to get in somewhat of a routine! I am also looking forward to talking with J's caseworker about what to tell him about the outcome of his mom's court case. I was only able to attend Wednesday's court appointment, and seeing as how the judge didn't start hearing the case until 3 hours after it was scheduled, then had to break for a meeting, I only got to hear mom's testimony. It was still informative, especially going out to lunch afterwards with his former foster mom, his court advocate, and Wraparound leader. The following day I received a message from his former foster mom that after all of the "best-interest" witnesses had presented, the judge had ruled to terminate her parental rights. Many involved in the case we happy to finally have some closure since the children have been in foster care for 4 years, and this was the 4th termination hearing. I was very confused then when I got a call Friday asking when we could do parenting visits the following week. It turned out that no one published the court date in the newspaper for the fathers to see and have a chance to show up and fight for their rights, so the case is staying open for one more month to allow for this. I am praying she uses this last month of visits to leave lasting positive memories with J! Many have asked if this means that we can legally adopt J, and honestly we don't even want to think about yet- we are first grieving for his loss of family, just trying to make him feel safe, loved, and welcome here. With Thanksgiving, Christmas, and his birthday at the end of January, it seems like it would be a busy time of year to make any decisions, and I think he would be overwhelmed to learn that he wouldn't be seeing his mom again, his siblings as often, or going back to "his house" ever again. Lots of listening for the Holy Spirit going forward to know when/if there will be a right time to switch the conversation to him becoming a permanent family member in our home or somewhere else.